| Conteúdo |
ROAD MAP<br/><br/>INTRODUCTION 1 From Push to Pull<br/>WHAT COUNTS AS FEEDBACK?<br/>A BRIEF HISTORY OF FEEDBACK<br/>PULL BEATS PUSH<br/>THE TENSION BETWEEN LEARNING AND BEING ACCEPTED <br/>THE BENEFITS OF RECEVING WELL <br/>DIGGING FOR PONIES <br/><br/>THE FEEDBACK CHALLENGE<br/><br/>1. THREE TRIGGERS <br/>That Biock Feedhack<br/><br/>THREE FEEDBACK TRIGGERS <br/>WHY WE GET TRIGGERED AND WHAT HELPS <br/><br/>1. TRUTH TRIGGERS: THE FEEDBACK IS WRONG, UNFAIR, UNHELPFUL <br/>Separate Appreciation, Coaching, and Evaluation <br/>First Understand <br/>See Your Blind Spots <br/><br/>2. RELATIONSHIP TRIGGERS:CAN'T HEAR THIS FEEDBACK FROM you<br/>Don't Switchtrack: Disentangle What from Who <br/>Identify the Relationship System <br/><br/>3. IDENTITY TRIGGERS: THE FEEDBACK IS THREATENING AND I'M OFF BALANCE <br/>Learn How Wiring and Temperament Affect Your Story <br/>Dismantie Distortions <br/>Cultivate a Growth Identity <br/><br/>TRUTH TRIGGERS<br/><br/>2. SEPARATE APPRECIATION, COACHING, AND EVALUATION <br/>ONE DAD, TWO REACTIONS <br/>THERE ARE THREE KINDS OF FEEDBACK<br/>APPRECIATION<br/>COACHING<br/>EVALUATION<br/>WE NEEDALLTHREE <br/>EVALUATION SHORTFALLS <br/>APPRECIATION SHORTFALLS <br/>COACHING SHORTFALLS <br/>BEWARE CROSS-TRANSACTIONS <br/>A COMPLICATION: THERE IS ALWAYS EVALUATION IN COACHING <br/>WHAT HELPS? <br/>GET ALIGNED: KNOW THE PURPOSE AND DISCUSS IT <br/>SEPARATE EVALUATION FROM COACHING AND APPRECIATION <br/><br/>3. FIRST UNDERSTAND <br/>Shift from "That's Wrong" to "Tell Me More"<br/>WE'RE GOOD AT WRONG SPOTTING 46 UNDERSTANDING ISJOB ONE <br/>FEEDBACK ARRIVES WITH GENERIC LABELS <br/>GIVER AND RECEIVER INTERPRETTHE LABEL DIFFERENTLY<br/>Play "Spot the Label" <br/>WHAT'S UNDER THE LABEL? <br/>Coming From and Going To <br/>ASK WHERE THE FEEDBACK IS COMING FROM <br/>They Observe Data <br/>They interpret the Data <br/>They Confuse Data and Interpretation (We Ali Do) <br/><br/>ASK WHERE THE FEEDBACK IS GOING <br/>When Receiving Coaching: Clarify Advice<br/>When Receiving Evaluation:<br/>Clarify Consequences and Expectations <br/>SHIFT FROM WRONG SPOTTING TO DIFFERENCE SPOTTING <br/>DIFFERENT DATA <br/>Biases Drive Data Coliection <br/>DIFFERENCES IN INTERPRETATION <br/>Implicit Rules <br/>Heroes and Viliains<br/>ASK: WHAT'S RIGHT? <br/>WHEN YOU STILL DISAGREE <br/>"WHY CAN'T FEEDBACKJUST BE OBJECTIVE?"<br/>A CONVERSATION WITH COMMENTARY <br/>Paul's Preparation: Mindset and Goals<br/>The Conversation <br/><br/>4. SEE YOUR BLIND SPOTS <br/>Discover How You Come Across<br/>THE GAP MAP <br/>BEHAVIORAL BLIND SPOTS <br/>YOUR LEAKY FACE <br/>YOUR LEAKY TONE <br/>YOUR LEAKY PATTERNS <br/>E-MAIL BODY LANGUAGE <br/>THEY MAY SEE EXACTLY WHATWE ARE TRYING TO HIDE <br/>THREE BLIND-SPOT AMPLIFIERS <br/>AMPLIFIER 1: EMOTIONAL MATH <br/>AMPLIFIER 2: SITUATION VERSUS CHARACTER<br/>AMPLIFIER 3: IMPACT VERSUS INTENT<br/>THE RESULT: OUR (GENERALLY POSITIVE) SELF <br/>WE COLLUDE TO KEEP EACH OTHER IN THE DARK <br/><br/>WHAT HELPS US SEE OUR BLIND SPOTS?<br/>USE YOUR REACTION ASA BLIND-SPOT ALERT <br/>ASK:HOW DO I GET IN MY OWN WAY? <br/>LOOK FOR PATTERNS <br/>GET A SECOND OPINION <br/>Honest Mirrors Versus Supportive Mirrors <br/><br/>RECORD YOUR SELF FOCUS ON CHANGE FROM THE INSIDE OUT<br/>HAVE A PURPOSE <br/><br/>RELATIONSHIP TRIGGERS<br/><br/>5.DON'T SWITCH TRACK<br/>Diseritangle What from Who<br/><br/>RELATIONSHIP TRIGGERS CREATE<br/>SWITCH TRACK CONVERSATIONS <br/>SWITCH TRACKING DEFEATS FEEDBACK<br/>SILENT SWITCH TRACKING CAN BE WORSE <br/>TWO RELATIONSHIP TRIGGERS<br/><br/>WHAT WE THINK ABOUT THEM <br/>SkiIl or Judgment: How, When, or Where They Gave the Feedback<br/>Credibility: They Don't Know What They're<br/>Taiking About<br/>Trust: Their Motives Are Suspect<br/>SURPRISE PLAYERS IN THE FEEDBACK GAME <br/>Strangers <br/>Those You Least Like and Who Are Least Like You<br/>HOW WE FEEL TREATED BY THEM<br/>Appreciation<br/>Autonomy <br/>Acceptance<br/><br/>RELATIONSHIP TRIGGERS: WHAT HELPS?<br/><br/>SPOT THE TWO TOPICS<br/>GIVE EACH TOPIC ITS OWN TRACK<br/>Signposting<br/>LISTEN FOR THE RELATIONSHIP !SSUES LURKING BENEATH THEIR 'ADVICE" <br/>LOUIE AND KIM: TAKE TWO <br/><br/>6. IDENTJFY THE RELATIONSHIP SYSTEM<br/>Take Three Steps Back<br/><br/>WHO IS THE PROBLEM AND WHO NEEDS TO CHANGE?<br/>SEE THE RELATIONSHIP SYSTEM <br/>TAKE THREE STEPS BACK<br/>ONE STEP BACK: YOU + ME INTERSECTIONS<br/>TWO STEPS BACK: ROLE CLASHES AND ACCI DENTAL ADVERSARIES<br/>THREE STEPS BACK: THE BIG PICTURE (OTHER PLAYERS, PROCESSES, POLICIES, AND STRUCTURES) <br/>FEEDBACK THROUGH A SYSTEMS LENS <br/>THE BENEFITS OF A SYSTEMS LENS <br/>IT'S MORE ACCURATE<br/>IT MOVES US AWAY FROM NEEDLESSJUDGMENT<br/>IT ENHANCES ACCOUNTABILITY<br/>IT HELPS CORRECT OUR TENDENCY TO SHIFT OR ABSORB<br/>Blame Absorbers: It's Ali Me<br/>Blame Shifters: It's Not Me<br/>IT HELPS US AVOID "FIXES THAT FAIL" <br/>TALKING ABOUT SYSTEMS<br/>BEONTHELOOKOUT<br/>TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR PART<br/>"HERES WHAT WOULD HELP ME CHANGE"<br/>LOOK FOR THEMES. IS THIS A ME + EVERYBODY INTERSECTION?<br/>USE THE SYSTEM TO SUPPORT CHANGE (NOT THWART IT)<br/><br/>IDENTITY TRUGGERS<br/><br/>7. LEARN HOW WIRING AND TEMPERAMENT AFFECT YOUR STORY <br/>THE LIBERATION OF HARD WIRING<br/>A BEHIND-THE-SCENES LOOK AT YOURSELF ON FEEDBACK <br/>1. Baseline: The Beginning and End of the Arc <br/>2. Swing: How Far Up or Down You Go <br/>Bad Is Stronger Than Good <br/>3. Sustain and Recovery: How Long Does the Swing Lasi? Negative Recovery: Righty or Lefty? <br/>Sustaining Positive Fee!ings<br/>Four Sustain/Recovery Combinations<br/>WIRING IS ONLY PART OF THE STORY <br/>THE MAGIC 40 <br/>EMOTIONS DISTORT OUR SENSE OF THE FEEDBACK ITSELF <br/>OUR STORIES HAVE AN EMOTIONAL SOU NDTRACK <br/>THOUGHTS + FEELINGS = STORY <br/>HOW FEELINGS EXAGGERATE FEEDBACK <br/>OUR PAST: THE GOOGLE BIAS <br/>OUR PRESENT: NOT ONE THING, EVERYTHING <br/>OUR FUTURE: THE FORE VER BIAS AND SNOWBALLING<br/><br/>8. DISMANTLE DISTORTIONS <br/>See Feedback at "Actual Size"<br/>SETH TAKES A RELAXING VACATION <br/>FIVE WAYS TO DISMANTLE DISTORTIONS <br/>1. BE PREPARED, BE MINDFUL <br/>Know Your Feedback Footprint<br/>Inoculate Yourself Against the Worst 168 Notice What's Happening <br/><br/>2. SEPARATE THE STRANDS: FEELING / STORY / FEEDBACK <br/>Our Stories Shadowbox with the Past <br/><br/>3. CONTAIN THE STORY <br/>Use a Feedback Containment Chart<br/>Draw the Balancing Picture <br/>Right-Size the Future Consequences<br/><br/>4. CHANGE YOUR VANTAGE POINT<br/>Imagine You're an Observer<br/>Look Back from the Future<br/>Cast the Comedy<br/><br/>5. ACCEPT THAT YOU CANT CONTROL HOW OTHERS SEE YOU<br/>Have Compassion for Them<br/>WHEN LIFE COMES DOWN HARD<br/>DROWNING<br/>ASK FOR SUPPORT<br/><br/>9. CULTIVATEAGROWTH IDENTITY<br/>Sort Toward Coaching<br/><br/>FEEDBACK CAN ROCK OUR SENSE OF SELF<br/>IDENTITY: OUR SELF-STORY <br/>IS YOUR IDENTITY BRITTLE OR ROBUST? <br/>GIVE UP SIMPLE LABELS AND CULTIVATE COMPLEXITY <br/>KEEP IT OUT OR LET IT IN? <br/>EMBRACE IDENTITY NUANCE<br/>THREE THINGS TO ACCEPT ABOUT YOURSELF<br/>You Wil! Make Mistakes<br/>You Have Complex Intentions <br/>You Have Contributed to the Problem<br/>YOU'VE BEEN COMPLICATED ALL ALONG <br/>SHIFT FROM A FIXED MINDSET TO A GROWTH MINDSET<br/>PUZZLING KIDS <br/>FIXE VERSUS GROWTH ASSUMPTIONS <br/>BUT AREN'T SOME TRAITS FIXED? <br/><br/>IMPLICATIONS FOR HOW WE RESPOND TO FEEDBACK AND CHALLENGE<br/>The Accuracy of Our Self-Perception<br/>How We Listen to Feedback <br/>How We Respond to Struggle Can Create Self-fulfihling<br/>Prophecies <br/>The Framing Matters <br/>MOVE TOWARD A GROWTH IDENTITY<br/>PRACTICE *1: SORT TOWARD COACHING<br/>Hear Coaching as Coaching<br/>When Coaching and Evaluation Get Tangled <br/>PRACTICE *2: UNPACKJUDGMENT FROM THE EVALUATION SUITCASE <br/>PRACTICE *3: GIVE YOURSELF A SECOND SCORE"<br/><br/>FEEDBACK IN CONVERSATION<br/><br/>10. HOW GOOD DO I HAVE TO BE?<br/>Draw Bouridaries When Enough Is Enough<br/>FINDING BOUNDARIES, SETTING BOUNDARIES<br/>THREE BOUNDARIES<br/>1. 1 MAY NOT TAKE YOUR ADVICE <br/>2.1 DON'T WANT FEEDBACK ABOUT THAT SUBJECT, NOT RIGHT NOW<br/>3. STOP, OR I WILL LEAVE THE RELATIONSHIP <br/>HOW DO I KNOW IF BOUNDARIES ARE NEEDED?<br/>DO THEY ATTACK VOUR CHARACTER, NOTJUST YOUR BEHAVIOR?<br/>IS THE FEEDBACK UNRELENTING? <br/>WHEN VOU DO CHANGE, IS THERE ALWAVS ONE MORE DEMAND? <br/>DOES THE FEEDBACK GIVER TAKE THE RELATIONSHIP HOSTAGE? <br/>ARE THEY ISSUING WARNINGS—OR MAKING THREATS? <br/>IS IT ALWAYS YOU WHO HAS TO CHANGE? <br/>ARE YOUR VIEWS AND FEELINGS A LEGITIMATE PART OF THE<br/>RELATIONSHIP? <br/><br/>WHERE BOUNDARIES WOULD HELP: SOME COMMON RELATIONSHIP PATTERNS <br/><br/>THE CONSTANT CRITIC <br/>HATE-LOVE-HATE RELATIONSHIPS <br/>RENOVATION RELATIONSHIPS <br/>BUTWAIT, DOES THATMEAN ... ? <br/>TURNING AWAY FEEDBACK WITH GRACE AND HONESTY <br/>BE TRANSPARENT: ACTUALLY TELL THEM <br/>BE FIRM—AND APPRECIATIVE <br/>REDIRECT UNHELPFUL COACHING <br/>USE "AND" <br/>BE SPECIFIC ABOUT YOUR REQUEST <br/>DESCRI BE CONSEQUENCES <br/>YOU HAVE A DUTY TO MITIGATE THE COST TO OTHERS <br/>INQUIRE ABOUT, AND ACKNOWLEDGE, THE IMPACT ON THEM <br/>COACH THEM TO DEAL WITH THE UNCHANGED YOU <br/>PROBLEM SOLVE TOGETHER<br/><br/>11. NAVIGATE THE CONVERSATION <br/>KEYFRAMES OF THE CONVERSATION <br/>THE ARC OF THE CONVERSATION: OPEN-BODY-CLOSE 230 OPEN BY GETTING ALIGNED<br/>CLARIFY PURPOSE, CHECK STATUS<br/>1. Is This Feedback? If So, Wbat Kind? <br/>2. Who Decides? <br/>3. Is This Final or Negotiable?<br/>YOU CAN INFLUENCE THE FRAME AND AGENDA<br/>BODY: FOUR SKILLS FOR MANAGING THE CONVERSATION <br/>LISTEN FOR WHATS RIGHT(AND WHY THEY SEE IT DIFFERENTLY)<br/>Your Internal Voice Is Crucial <br/>Triggered: From Assistant to Bodyguard <br/><br/>When Enipathy Shuts Down <br/>What Helps? Listen with a Purpose<br/>Prepare to Listen <br/>Find the Trigger Patterns <br/>And Then Negotiate <br/>Listening's Second Purpose: To Let Them Know<br/>You Hear Them <br/>Beware Hot Inquiry <br/>ASSERT WHATS LEFT OUT <br/>Shift from "I'm Right" to 'Here's What's Left Out" <br/>Common Assertion Mistakes <br/>TruthMistakes <br/>Relationship Mistakes <br/>identity Mistakes<br/>BE YOUR OWN PROCESS REFEREE<br/>Process Moves: Diagnose, Describe, Propose<br/>PROBLEM SOLVE TO CREATE POSSIBILITIES <br/>Create Possibilities <br/>Dig for Underlying Interests <br/>Three Sources of Jntcrests Behind Feedback <br/>Generate Options <br/>CLOSE WITH COMMITMENT<br/>PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER: A CONVERSATION IN MOTION <br/>AN EVALUATION CONVERSATION ABOUT RATINGS AND BON USES <br/>Version One <br/>Version Two <br/>Version Three <br/>Version Four: A More SkiIlfuI Conversation<br/><br/>12. GET GOING <br/>Five Ways to Take Action<br/>NAME ONE THING <br/>ASK: "WI-IAT'S ONE THING YOU SEE ME DOING <br/>THAT GETS IN MY OWN WAY?" <br/><br/>LISTEN FOR THEMES <br/>ASK WHAT MATTERS TO THEM 260 TRY SMALL EXPERIMENTS <br/>DONT DECIDE, EXPERIMENT <br/>Try It On <br/>Try It Out <br/>You May Be Surprised <br/>IT'S NOT ALL-AND-ALWAYS 264 RIDE OUT THEJ CURVE <br/>TWO DECISION MAKERS <br/>INCREASE THE POSITIVE APPEAL OF CHANGE <br/>Make It Social <br/>Keep Score <br/>INCREASE THE COST OF NOT CHANGING <br/>Tie Yourself to the Mast <br/>Recognize the J Curve <br/>COACH YOUR COACH <br/>WHAT COACHING YOUR COACH DOESN'T MEAN <br/>TALKABOUT"FEEDBACKANDYOU" <br/>DISCUSS PREFERENCES, ROLES, AND MUTUAL EXPECTATIONS <br/>HIERARCHYANDTRUST <br/>DON'T BECOME A GIMME-FEEDBACK FANATIC <br/>YOUR COACH CAN HELP YOU GET IN SYNC <br/>WHEN THE PERSON BEING COACHED IS THE BOSS <br/>INVITE THEM IN <br/>A GOOD LISTENER ASKS FOR HELP <br/>A FRUSTRATED ADVISER OPENS UP <br/>PERFECT FEEDBACK FOR THE PERFECT PERSON <br/>SHIFTING MIRRORS <br/>We Triangulate for Comfort, but Not Coaching <br/>Hank Has a Hunch <br/>Make Two Lists to Stay on Track <br/><br/>13. PULLTOGETHER <br/>FeedBack ia Organizations<br/><br/>THERE ARE NO PERFECT FEEDBACK SYSTEMS<br/>CAN'T LIVE WITH IT, CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT IT<br/>WHAT LEADERSHIP AND HR CAN DO <br/>1. DON'T JUST TRUMPET BENEFITS, EXPLAIN TRADEOFFS <br/>2. SEPARATE APPRECIATION, COACHING, AND EVALUATION <br/>3. PROMOTE A CULTURE OF LEARNERS <br/>Highlight Learning Stories <br/>Cultivate Growth Ideritities Discuss Second Scores<br/>Create Multitrack Feedback <br/>Leverage Positive Social Norming <br/>WHAT TEAM LEADERS AND FEEDBACK GIVERS CAN DO <br/>1. MODEL LEARNING, REQUEST COACHING <br/>2. AS GIVERS, MANAGE MINDSET AND IDENTITY <br/>3. BE AWARE OF HOW INDIVIDUAL DIFFERENCES COLLIDE IN ORGANIZATIONS <br/>WHAT RECEIVERS CAN DO <br/><br/><br/> |
